Commitment

I received a call from one of my boys the other day. He was just checking in to see how I was and stuff. It was obvious he was feeling bored--mostly because his boyfriend wasn't at home.

He then started to tell me that things were not all good in Gayville.

Basically, both of them thought they were mutually exclusively dating each other at different times. My friend sooner and his bf later. So, while the bf thought they were not exclusive yet, he fucked around with some random guy (possibly twice) AND his ex.

My boy was obviously upset about this because he saw it as a breech of trust in their relationship. He just recently found out about this and ever since then, he has been wondering just how many other guys there were when the "exclusive-only" period was still in question. The bf, however, didn't see it as such a big deal.

This made me start wondering about my other boys and their relationships.

Now, I'm not one to comment on the importance of commitment. I will run as fast as I can from it. But there is something about gay commitment that I just don't understand.

It took me a while to figure out why having a relationship is so important to a gay man. They have gone their entire lives wanting to be accepted for who they are and they just ache to have someone love them.

Until things get hard.

Now, this is not true in every relationship I've seen, but it seems to be a common occurrence--when the going gets tough, they're outta there. I find that intriguing, to say the least.

Instead of trying to work things out and trying to figure out how to make things better, most gay boys don't bother to try. They just cut and run to next boy. Now, I realize that not every gay relationship is like that. But, I think for some, it just seems easier to not deal with things and leave while they still can. Why is this?

Why is it okay in gayland to 'cheat' on your significant other--whether you are exclusive or not or whether it's physical or not? Doesn't some kind of commitment mean anything?

Now, my friend's bf was quite unwilling to talk more about his indiscretions. He honestly didn't think that it was that big of a deal and my friend was really hurt. This brought up all kinds of questions. Can I still trust him? What if there were others he didn't tell me about? Should I stay with him? Why is he so unwilling to talk about it?

Communication, I have noticed, is the best thing in a relationship--gay or straight. But if one party is unwilling to communicate, or unwilling to talk about everything freely then how can anything be resolved?

Finally, why does a gay boy crave a relationship so much then leave when that relationship gets hard?

And why does losing a love hurt so much?