Moving on

Brady called me. He got his job in San Francisco. He starts on the 10th. He'll be leaving me forever, probably. I didn't think it would affect me so profoundly.

As you may recall, Brady is my one boy who drives me absolutely nuts. Really, you've never met a more selfish gay boy. But still, I can't help but feel that my world is about to fall apart.

That sounds crazy, I know. But I can't help my neurosis.

Earlier this year, Anne left for New York City. I don't know how long she'll be there. Two years, maybe more. What if I never see her again?

And now, Brady. I've joked that I don't care about losing him and what a relief it would be. But, it still makes me sad.

Mostly because I think of Jesse and Scott leaving me next. And I really don't know how I'm going to handle that. Sure, it's two years away, but I keep thinking that when they move, I'll never see them again and we won't be friends anymore. They mean so much to me and it makes me so sad to think that our friendships will be over.

I'm so used to talking to each of them every day and I now realize that it won't be like that forever. That's really hard. You see, I'm at that point in my life where my future is pretty much set. (Well, not totally, but that's another issue.) Their futures are still uncertain. Grad school or no grad school? If so, where? How long? The list goes on. The friends I have now, are the friends I'll have for life. But, it's not the same for them.

This really sucks. I'll be thinking about this one for a while.

But, as in every life, it must go on.