Top Ten Best Ways to Break Up With Someone (And by best, I mean the meanest, probably worst ways)

A wise person once said, "Everyone who's single wants to get in a relationship and everyone who is in a relationship wants out." What does it all mean then?!

10. Hug-O-Gram.

9. Lie about needing space and saying you're going to travel when all you really did was just become a lying prick.

8. Packing your significant other's shit up in a box (or two), putting it outside the door with a note that says, "Dude, I'm dumping you. Oh, and I'll want my A+F jeans back as they make your ass and my package look HUGE."

7. As an officer of the Treasury Department, go undercover as a wealthy French Baroness to help your "significant other" (aka Secret Government Intelligence Agent) win back $100+ million playing poker; watch him kill two Colombian guerrillas with his bare hands in the stairwell of a fancy hotel; have your life threatened--not once--but twice in one evening; "fall in love" with Secret Agent; and then steal the $100+ million because you already had a boyfriend and the creepy old guy in the movie your life threatened his life.

6. Telling your significant other that a friend of your sibling of a classmate of a neighbor of your landlord told you that your significant other is cheating on you and that you're so pissed, you just have to break up with them.

5. Breaking up in a text message without giving any reason for the break up. (Can you say, passive-aggressive?)

4. Going to summer camp for the summer, having your boy at home buy a plane ticket to come see you, THEN breaking up with him over the phone.

3. Changing your relationship status on MySpace to "Single" from "In a relationship." (Not my original idea).

2. Writing about how awful your sex life is and/or breaking up with him on your blog.

1. Having your guy buy a plane ticket to see you to try to fix your relationship then breaking up with him while he's visiting you, thereby having him waste the money and effort to come and see you AND breaking his heart.