Fairy Princess, Fag Hag, Fruit Fly, or Alternative Lifestyle Companion.

Whatever you call me, I'm the best damn one in the world.

There are many responsibilities that come with the job. And, there are times when it can be quite trying but other times when it is very fulfilling.

One of the major roles is to be the comforter when the relationships go sour. It's a hard job, but I've become used to it. If nothing else, it shows the human and soft side of so many selfish and egotistical gay men. And it makes me love them that much more.

A fun role I have usually occurs while at the club. When one of my gays meets another he is interested in, it is my job to help facilitate their evening "activities." I may leave at an appropriate time or casually mention that so-and-so just entered the bathroom--alone. Also, I may participate in purchasing copious amounts of alcohol to lower one's inhibitions occasionally. I always make sure that my gay leaves the club happy, no matter who he's with. Girls who do not help their guys in this arena are very, very bad and their ugly, poofy hair should be shaved off as punishment!

My most favorite role is being "the date." This usually occurs when I am attending an event with one of my gays and either his significant other is not attending or he doesn't have a significant other so I fill in. It's quite fun to be a gay man's date, I'm always certain to look my very best (because they make me) (except for when I MUST wear flip-flops) and I love the comments like, "Wow. You sure clean up well!" Plus, with gay men, you are certain that they will be the best dressed/looking ones there (unless it's an event full of gay men which in that case, it's just a room full of eye candy).

I also feel that it is my job as a fairy princess to give compliments to the gays that grace my world. Not only are gay men very egotistical, but they also have very low self-esteem. Every now and then, I must do or say something to boost this esteem, which, in turn, boosts mine!

I wouldn't go so far to say that my role is an artform...it's more like a craft that I have perfected. It takes patience, understanding, love, the ability to be unabashedly truthful, and a little bit of sarcasm. (Obviously. If not, there would be no point to this blog)!