I like City Boys ;)

Lately, I have been reading intently the struggles of four gay, Mormon men. Their blogs are quite fascinating to read as I grew up Latter-Day-Saint (LDS, aka Mormon) as did many of my boys. The struggles of these four men are eye-awakening and heartfelt. I feel so awful for them and have expressed that everything will be okay if they just be themselves and accept how God made them.

A common theme among these bloggers is that they have a hard time dealing with their sexuality. It's hard for them to call themselves "gay" when they feel that "being gay is immoral and evil," which is what they have been taught all their lives. One in particular, Peculiar Mormon, is having an extremely difficult time reconciling the fact that he's gay. He calls it "Same Sex Attraction" and considers it a medical disease.

Yes, that's right. People out there believe being gay is a disease. I know he's having a hard time in his life right now and he just wants everything to turn out okay. But, I feel that not being true to oneself is much more harmful than trying to be something else. (Does that make any sense?) His big hang up, it seems, is that he's just not comfortable with the whole "gay" thing.

And I can totally understand what he's thinking. When most people think of gay men, they either think of Jack on "Will & Grace" or a promiscuous, color-coordinated drama queen. Sometimes, stereotypes are true.

SIDENOTE: For those of you who continue to go to the club every night and have unsafe sex with random men. STOP! Ew.

As I was saying, it can be a hard thing to overcome the stereotypes you've been taught to believe. However, I can attest that there really is more to being a gay man than the clubs, clothes, drama, sex, etc. (I don't know from personal experience but bear with me).

You see, my boys are quite different than your typical gay boy in his twenties. Scott and Jesse grew up in stable LDS households. Their families are still very active in the Church and both went to BYU (an LDS-run University). It was hard for both of them to come out to their families because of the teachings of the Church. But growing up LDS has made them into the unique, healthy, wonderful men they are today. The morals they were taught have affected how they view the world and their relationships.

Jesse, at the age of 22 (I hope your age isn't a secret), has been in a committed relationship with Brian, 25, for almost three years (in March). (I think it's about time they got married since they've been living in sin for so long, but that's just me. hehe xoxo) Scott's relationships have ended because the other person wanted out. I think that part of the reason was that Scott just wasn't "gay" enough--meaning he didn't like to do the typical gay things like his boyfriends wanted to do--clubbing, partying, etc. By the way, Scott is single. (Just thought I'd throw that out there).

Neither Jesse, Scott nor Brian has a very salacious past (well, Jesse has told me tidbits about his so I'm not sure and Brian's past, well, it's in the past). By no means are they sluts or would ever want to be. We have one mutual friend who is and believe me, we often joke and dry heave at the thought.

It is possible to be gay and not fall into the stereotypes. Being gay doesn't even mean that you have to "live the lifestyle." I know men who are active Mormons and openly gay. One teaches Sunday School. He lives a celibate lifestyle yet still considers himself gay.

My boys have all left the Church for various reasons--none of which pertains to the Church's stance on homosexuality. My boys are prime examples that there is more to being gay than people think. You can be a good, moral person and still be gay.

There is more to the gay lifestyle. I see older gay couples who have been together for years arguing about what plants to get for the garden next year and oh-my-gosh-! it is so cute and heartwarming.

So, if you want to see some good examples of healthy, gay relationships (older and younger) come on to Utah, we have more gays than you'd think! (And I know almost all of them!)

PS. This was my first post using Firefox. It's a little different than IE, but I enjoy it. I know you care, that's why I'm telling you.