A clubbing experience like no other

Last Friday night, after a movie, post-movie discussion, and a fundraiser, Darci and I were begged by a new gay in our lives to go to a club with him. Against all better judgment, we gaily went along. It wasn't so bad when we walked in the door, but after that, it all went downhill.

Immediately, our gay found another he was determined to sleep with. This potential hook-up was with two friends. One instantly hit on Darci who she assumed was also gay while the other turned his attention to me. Before I knew it, Darci's had kissed her much to our surprise. Still believing he was gay, we took it in stride. Then he announced that he was, in fact, straight. The absolute audacity of this cretin!

The look on Darci's face was one of sheer loathing. (I've seen this look multiple times so I knew he really pissed her off). Sadly, I could no longer pay attention to them as the (very good looking black) guy I was with began hitting on me.

"Are you straight too?" I asked.

"Oh no, girl. I am completely and 100% gay," was his drunken reply.

"Then why are you fondling my breasts and unbuttoning my shirt?"

"I can fondle your ass instead," he said as he stuck his hand down my pants.

Um, wow! (Who knew gay black men were so friendly?!)

Needless to say, it was an odd experience, being felt up and hit on by a gay man. It was totally unexpected and I am still wondering how and why. I mean, I've flirted enough with men--gay and straight--to know that when gay men flirt with a straight woman, they are only trying to get to her gay friend. But this was completely out of my realm of knowledge! Oddly enough, there is no chapter in the "Fairy Princess Handbook" that explains what to do in this situation.

I know that there are very strict club rules for Fairy Princesses when accompanying their gays to the clubs. The number one is to not flirt with the other gay men! (They aren't there for you, honey. They want your gay). So, how could this gay be violating rule #1 with me?! Does he not understand my function at the club? Does he want to ruin the gay club experience for all straight women everywhere?!

Next time, if I ever feel the insane desire to go to the club again, I'll just head over to A&F where I can look at the hottie gays but know that they'll never talk to me (they never talk to anyone so I don't feel too badly).