Life's Little Annoyances

#1 Assumption. Do not assume anything about how I am feeling, thinking, or desiring. For example, do not assume that I am mad at you without any facts and without talking to me about it.

#2 Blame. Do not blame me for anything bad that happens in your life. Take some responsibility for your own actions and realize that you need some serious help.

#3 Inconsistency. Do not tell me that you want to do something and then don't. For example, do not tell me you would like me to call you if your help is needed only to say you never wanted me to do so.

#4 Timing. Never, ever call me at 10:15 PM then 12:15 AM deliberately and leave cryptic messages on my voicemail. This is not funny and it is definitely not a way to make me talk to you. Get a life.

#5 More Assumptions. Do not assume I am talking badly about you unless you know without a doubt I am. Sometimes, I just like to talk about you with others to figure out how best NOT to hurt you.

#6 Lies. Don't lie to me. It just pisses me off even more.

#7 Mistaken Sarcasm. Oh please, if you haven't figured out by now that I am 75% sarcastic, then you do live in your own reality