I should have just let him get the bucket.

Last Friday was Jesse's birthday. I asked Brian what he wanted to do and as usual he had no ideas. Brian, you see, is a straight man in a gay man's body. He doesn't think like a typical gay man as far as creativity, being romantic, etc. I mean he tries, really he does. But I should have remembered Jesse's birthday two years ago.

When I asked Brian what he was getting Jesse for his birthday, I got really excited. To my dismay, however, it wasn't as big as I thought it was.

Me, being me, wanted to help Brian to ensure that what he had planned for Jesse was special and memorable. I asked him what he was thinking of doing. He initially said, "Well, I thought you could keep him distracted while he cleaned the house and made a nice dinner."

I couldn't let him do just that. So I helped him think of something fun and special to do that didn't cost a lot of money.

My thought was to go on a nice picnic and told him I'd figure out what they could have to eat (because sandwiches just aren't special enough). I came up with something easy and nice: chicken, corn on the cob, macaroni salad, and dessert.

When I told Brian my idea, he said, "I'll just get a bucket of chicken from KFC."

Riiiight. That's romantic. I didn't know that a bucket of greasy chicken was symbolic of love. "I love you so much, here's a gift expressing that love. Oh, and a bucket of chicken made with the Colonel's 15 herbs and spices."

So, I made the food for them. And I thought that Brian had planned for a nice, romantic evening. But then, I should have realized that it was Brian and since he acts more like a straight man when it comes to such things, something would happen to make it, oh, "not so much."

And I was right.

As Brian and I were planning on what he should do (and not do), I jokingly said, "You could use the silver fortune cookie (in reference to presenting Jesse with his gift)!" The key word in that last sentence was JOKINGLY in case you didn't get it. Brian apparently didn't and used it anyway.

I figured that Brian would think of the small details and I shouldn't tell him how to do the entire thing. Again, I was wrong. Instead of going on a hike and looking at the stars through the telescope, he just found a crowded picnic area, gave Jesse his gift, then took him to a movie. A cheesy cartoon movie. At the budget theatre. That cost $1.50.

What could have been a romantic and special event turned out to be less than spectacular as you can read on Jesse's blog.

I should have just let him buy the bucket of chicken.