When the 4th of July isn't really the 4th of July (or, why are men afraid of a little rain?)

In continuing on my rant of how men just can't plan worth a damn, I give you part deux in the series. This one focuses on the gay men I know.

One would think they would know how to plan something fun and fabulous. Well, one would be wrong.

I spent most of my July 4th working. And by working, I mean walking in four parades with a candidate.

See this is me working. And that's Shawn. He's working too.

Anywho, the parades were the highlight of our day. That did feel like the 4th of July and we had a blast. Some of the more memorable highlights include:

• Me almost stepping in a nice, fresh pile of horse shit. In my flip-flops.
• Passing out a ton of candy to annoying children who really didn't deserve it and were not grateful at all. Little bastards.
• Hitting people with candy. (On accident, I swear!)
• Hanging out in redneck hell (AKA, Magna) and laughing hysterically at the crowd who cheered at the stock car in front of us squeal his wheels every 10 feet.
• Eventually cheering with said crowd in Magna for said stock car. (Hey, when in Rome...)
• Shawn doing "little flippy things" in the middle of the street to an ecstatic crowd!
• Laughing so hard while driving because we were exhausted, had heatstroke, and were majorly dehydrated.

Apparently, the gaggle and I have a "tradition" of having dinner and watching the huge fireworks show on the 4th day of July. So stuck in this "tradition" were some of the gaggle that they declined a free pro soccer game. But when it came down to the nitty gritty, the lack of planning know-how made my 4th of July less than spectacular.

And all because of a little rain.

SIDENOTE: What is it with men and rain? Are they afraid they're going to melt? Seriously!!

The entire day was nice and sunny. A little hot around noon, but hey, who noticed? Around 5 pm, it began to get cloudy and started to rain. It wasn't a hard rain and I could tell that it would clear up in time for fireworks that started at dusk. (I was right, just so you know).

But no, the excuses I heard for not continuing on our "tradition" were lame. "The grass is wet." (Ever heard of a chair or blanket?) "The blanket would get wet and dirty then I'd have to wash it." (Wah!) "It'll be cold." (Dude, my obsession with jackets would come in handy if you don't have one which I know you do.) Et cetera, et cetera.

Instead, dinner was Mexican (how ironic and yummy at the same time...) and we watched a "patriotic" movie. Call it the liberal weenie in me, but war movies just don't scream patriotism to me. (It was a good movie though. Kudos!)

Man, the 4th of July just isn't the 4th of July without fireworks. It just makes me "want a hot dog real bad."

One final rant. If an event is supposed to be a group event of close friends, I think that all friends should be consulted in the decision-making process of planning and canceling any event. From now on, I'm making plans and if you want to come along, you can. You know I'll have fun so you might as well just let me do it.

And I'm done.

Hope y'all had a fantabulous 4th of July!