Gaydar for the straight girl next door: A business opportunity

Scott and I have recently been contemplating starting our own business.

Picture it: A girl is walking hand-in-hand with her boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes and worshipping him and his A+F jeans while at the mall. He stops to check his hair in the window they just passed when a he turns to check out the guy who just walked by. "OOO, I so like his pants! Do you think Express for Men is still open?" He is obviously G-A-Y. And yet, she doesn't realize it. He tells her he loves shopping with her and how much fun she is and how awesome she is. She naively believes that he loves her. She went with him to see "Brokeback Mountain" because he said he was from Wyoming and he thought cowboys were cool.

Sadly, this scenario is becoming more and more prevalent as I go out into the world. I see countless gay men "dating" girls and the girl just doesn't know her boyfriend is gay.

This is where I come in. I would save this young and innocent lass from years of therapy and heartache. I wouldn't charge much for my service--just a small processing fee. But imagine what I've just saved her in therapy bills and anti-depressants!

Then, Scott would take over with a, "Oh gurl! What are you wearing today?! Oh no, you didn' wear gauchos with boots in public!" And would proceed to "queer" her up. (End scene). As I've said before, every girl needs at least one gay man in her life for fashion advice. Since I have my share of gay men in mine, I am willing to give my most fashionable to this cause. Think of Scott as a bridge builder, a people person, a go-getter. He's as good as Carson--just not as gay. Well, that's debatable.

Hey, it would totally work.

(We are currently accepting applications for our marketing team).