Unconditional Love

I have often wondered if my mother's annoyance with me only having gay friends is based upon the fact she thinks her grandkid will become gay if she hangs out with them enough. Of course, this is only speculation on my part.

I also wonder what I would do IF my kid realized one day that she was gay.

It's easy for us to have friends who are gay or to be especially ecstatic that our new, next-door neighbors are a gay couple (there goes the gayborhood!) or to be able to say that our uncle/brother/niece is gay.

And while I don't know what it's like to be gay, I also don't know what it's like to be a gay parent. I see many different kinds of parents to my gay friends: the ones who completely disregard the fact that they have a gay son; the ones who knew even before he did and while they may be a tad uncomfortable with it, they're still there for him; the ones who don't even speak about it and pray that it (and he) will just go away; and the ones who just accepted it like it was no biggie and moved on.

To me, I don't see it as a big deal. Being gay is just who a person is and that person (and those around them) can either let it completely define who they are or just let it be.

To go as far as to hide the fact your child is gay and not accept it at all to me is unforgivable. One of my friends leads a double life. He lives a completely gay lifestyle and everyone knows about it--except his family. His mother and eldest brother both know that he's gay (just not to what extent). Yet, his mother refuses to believe it and absolutely abhors it; his brother is completely fine with it.

I love this story I read in the NY Times last week. The idea that one's parents could be so completely okay with having a gay child really isn't that unthinkable.

To quote the story:

That night, when his mother got home from work, she stuck her head in his room to say hi. “I said, ‘Ma, I need to talk to you about something, I’m gay.’ She said, ‘O.K., anything else?’ ‘No, but I just told you I’m gay.’ ‘O.K., that’s fine, we still love you.’ I said, ‘That’s it?’ I was preparing for this really dramatic moment.”

We have parents to raise us, to help us in our lives when things get tough, to teach us, and to love us--unconditionally. To think that there are parents who would stop loving their child because of who they are is just so stupid.

The story of the O'Connors is not a unique one I am sure. It makes me happy and optimistic for the future of our society and the Future Gays of America (FGOA).