The Religious Homosexual Divide

Sometimes, I write about about religion. Most of the time, I write about gay people. But I rarely write about religious gay people. I haven't been sure as to why this is until recently.

A few weeks ago, I had a big gay weekend. On Friday night, I went to the gay club with some of my gays and on Saturday night, I went to a gay party with some of my other gays. Both nights the topic of religion was breeched.

I believe that with any strong religion/culture, there is just as strong a counterculture/religion. I don't know if I believe that Mormons are more likely to "produce" gay men and women than other religions but I do know that a predominance of my gay friends (and gay enablers) were once Mormon. What I don't understand, however, is the virulent disdain for God that most of them now have.

At the gay club, the discussion turned to religion quickly when Steven asked another gay how he met his current roommate. Church, was the quick reply--with an explanation that it was the Unitarian Church. The blatant categorization of religion as something evil was discussed and when it was my turn to speak I simply said, "I'm a Christian, I believe in God." I was met with a look of skepticism and it got me thinking.

The next night, as I mingled with gorgeous, A-List gay men, the discussion again turned to religion. When the new boy of the group was asked about his upbringing and in essence, his religion, he too quickly admonished his past and claimed to be devoutly agnostic. As I talked to my favorite gay radio personality about his most excellent column in the major paper a few months ago, I again found myself saying, "I'm a Christian, I believe in God." He too gave me that skeptical look.

What is it about religion that makes a gay person scowl, cringe or run away? Is it the conformity some perceive as being hand-in-hand with religion? Is it the belief that God hates you for being gay because that is what you've been taught all your life? Is it the belief that God has abandoned you in your new lifestyle? Is it the omnipotent knowledge that you know everything and there is none who knows more than you?

I've seen suicidal, depressed gay men. I've helped some come out of the closet and others vacillate between the closet doors. I know that deep down, the greatest desire of all gay men is to be wanted and loved by someone else, knowing that another loves and accepts them for who they are. I also know that when I have found myself at a bottomless pit I can't get out of, the one person who has helped me the most is God. I know how cheesy that may sound but just knowing that I'm really not alone is exactly what I need at times.

I stopped reading most of blogs of the "Gay Mormon" group mostly because I couldn't stand to read about the pain they were inflicting upon themselves (one often exclaimed that he was in fact, not gay, but had Same Sex Attraction and could be cured). Over and over again I read how evil they felt they were because of their sexuality. They were scared of their religion and themselves because their entire lives they have been told homosexuality is a sin. They were afraid to open themselves up to the idea that God loves all his children and made each one special. An apparent theme among these bloggers was that if God didn't believe in them and their lifestyle, then they could not believe in Him. This struggle will eventually lead anyone to disbelief I suppose.

I'm not sure why this phenomenon exists or if it even is a phenomenon.

And now, as I think about it, it's beginning to make sense. Earlier this year, Logo and HRC sponsored a debate/forum for the Democratic Presidential candidates. When asked about their views on gay marriage (the only GLBT issue they all disagreed on), most who oppose full marriage base their opinion on their religious upbringing and openly said so. I can see how a gay person would have issues with religion. Because of it, people are making decisions about how they can and can not live their lives.

I certainly hope things change. Because in my heaven, I'm surrounded by gay men--having the time of my life.

PS. If you haven't seen For the Bible Tells Me So, you must! It's one of the best documentaries I've ever seen. "It'll change your life, I swear."