The Gay Agenda

The Gay Agenda

6:00 am Gym

8:00 am Breakfast (oatmeal, egg whites and mimosas)

9:00 am Hair appointment

10:00 am Shopping (preferably at Nordstrom's or Saks)

12:00 pm Brunch

2:00 pm (1) assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, state, and local governments, as well as all other forms of world government; (2) destroy all healthy marriages; (3) replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents from Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels; (4) bulldoze all houses of worship;(5) secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media; (6) be fabulous;

2:30 pm Mud mask and forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from the stress of world conquest

4:00 pm Cocktails

6:00 pm Light Dinner (soup, salad with romaine, radicchio, arugula, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing, and Pouilly Fuisse)

8:00 pm Theatre

10:30 pm "Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight!"


Now, for those of you who are not gay or do not know any gay men, you may be thinking, "Oh, how funny! But that's not really true! Is it?!"

Well, my dears, as one who as 34 gay men in her phone and only 3 straight men, I say, "Oh dear God! Yes! It is all true!"

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'Hot damn!'"