Are rules really made to be broken?

I only have few rules when it comes to my friends. Usually, they are all good at following them but every now and then, one is broken.

I'd like to take this opportunity now to state these rules and the reasoning behind them.

Rule #1 No phone calls or text messages are allowed after 10:00 PM unless you know without a doubt that I am awake.

Now, I created this rule because I would constantly get phone calls or text messages when I was sleeping. It didn't really bother me until they started happening when I was away and the calls/texts would wake me up. This was the breaking point and I had to draw a line.

Every now and then, the rule does get broken and the offender hears about it. This happened last night. AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!

Rule #2 Do not assume anything about me.

This rule came about because there are some of my gay boyfriends who assume things about me. Like, oh, I don't know, how much better my life would be with "a man." What the hell?! When I heard this for the first time (and again, you know who you are) I was like, "Oh hell no!
You did NOT just say that!" But when another one said it to me, I was P-I-S-E-D for sure!

Now, I'm not really sure what makes any of them think that I need/want/long for straight male companionship. I'm pretty open about what I'm thinking or wanting and you'll be sure to know it. Sure, I get a twinge when Jesse and Brian kiss and cuddle and I think, "Yeah, I'd like that." But not now. It's just not what I need in my life right now. I'm a firm believer that love comes when one least expects it and I know that someday, it will come to me.

Rule #3 I get to make fun of you. You don't get to make fun of me.

This is a part of the contract you sign when becoming my friend. If there is anything funny in your past or you do something funny now, I get exclusive rights to tease you about it for eternity. I won't go into much detail about what these things are here. I'll save that for other posts. (Evil laugh!)