Gaydar for the straight girl next door: A business opportunity

Scott and I have recently been contemplating starting our own business.

Picture it: A girl is walking hand-in-hand with her boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes and worshipping him and his A+F jeans while at the mall. He stops to check his hair in the window they just passed when a he turns to check out the guy who just walked by. "OOO, I so like his pants! Do you think Express for Men is still open?" He is obviously G-A-Y. And yet, she doesn't realize it. He tells her he loves shopping with her and how much fun she is and how awesome she is. She naively believes that he loves her. She went with him to see "Brokeback Mountain" because he said he was from Wyoming and he thought cowboys were cool.

Sadly, this scenario is becoming more and more prevalent as I go out into the world. I see countless gay men "dating" girls and the girl just doesn't know her boyfriend is gay.

This is where I come in. I would save this young and innocent lass from years of therapy and heartache. I wouldn't charge much for my service--just a small processing fee. But imagine what I've just saved her in therapy bills and anti-depressants!

Then, Scott would take over with a, "Oh gurl! What are you wearing today?! Oh no, you didn' wear gauchos with boots in public!" And would proceed to "queer" her up. (End scene). As I've said before, every girl needs at least one gay man in her life for fashion advice. Since I have my share of gay men in mine, I am willing to give my most fashionable to this cause. Think of Scott as a bridge builder, a people person, a go-getter. He's as good as Carson--just not as gay. Well, that's debatable.

Hey, it would totally work.

(We are currently accepting applications for our marketing team).

The White House screened Brokeback Mountain

This is sure to get me on the NSA's "surveillance" radar.

DISCLAIMER: This is NOT real! It was sent to me in an email. SO funny!

WHITE HOUSE ACCIDENTALLY SCREENS 'BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN'
Cheney, Rove Injured in Stampede for Exit

In what the official White House spokesman today called "a regrettable mistake," the White House had a private screening last night of the critically acclaimed gay western, "Brokeback Mountain."

One day after the ill-fated screening, spokesman Scott McClellan said that the White House had launched a "full investigation" to find out how "Brokeback," which features actors Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal as gay ranch hands, found its way into the White House screening room.

According to one source, however, the decision to screen the film was made by the president himself, who thought that the two ranch hands would be mainly occupied with clearing brush, as he himself is fond of doing at his ranch in Crawford, Texas.

Additionally, the source said, the film was directed by Ang Lee, who directed one of President Bush's all-time favorite films, "The Hulk."

Eyewitnesses at the screening said that seconds into the film's first explicit man-on-man love scene, shrieks of alarm rose up from the audience and there was a frantic stampede for the exit.

In the ensuing chaos, vice president Dick Cheney reportedly trampled top advisor Karl Rove, with both men reportedly receiving medical attention for injuries sustained in the fracas.

Mr. McClellan said that the White House would take "better care" to make sure that films with gay content do not find their way into the screening room, adding, "We feel more optimistic about tonight's double feature,'Capote' and 'Rent.'"

Um, yeah

I have a confession to make.

I have obsessive compulsive disorder when it comes to my sitemeter. I check it constantly.

I don't know why.

I'd like to share some of the search referrals I get (and, hopefully, drive more people to my site!).

Gay Blogs. Yes, this is a blog about me and my gay boyfriends. If you were looking for something else, I do not apologize.

Gay computer nerds. Yes, my boys are gay computer nerds. Sorry, though, they're all taken.

Brokeback Mountain. Now I'm going to get even more hits because of this movie.

Gays who take it up the ass. I have no idea how or where or why or what. In fact, this search scares me just a tad.

My review: Brokeback Mountain

I finally saw the movie that has caused so much controversy and heartache. I went with Brian, Scott, Jesse and Jesse's mom. She was so cute. She covered her eyes when the sex scene came on screen like a little kid. It was too cute!

I enjoyed it, but I like the short story much better.

There was more passion and more of a sense of the "love story" in the written version. In the movie, you knew the intimacy was there but you just couldn't feel it.

Some scenes and an entire story line were added to the movie that really weren't necessary. For example, the scene of Jack going to Mexico. This just made him look like a whore which he wasn't. He was a heartsick man who couldn't be with the one he loved because of society.

Scott's review: "They're both hot." Which they are. No doubt. Yummy.

Brian's review: "I don't know what to think. Can't we gays have a movie that doesn't end in tragedy? Just once I'd like a movie about gays that was uplifting." (Oh, Brian, you know better than anyone that there are "uplifting" gay movies out there). Hehe.

I give it an 9 out of 10 because I would have liked to see more of Heath Ledger's bits and pieces flailing about and less boobage. (Jesse, button!: More penis, less boobs!) ;)

That damn gay cowboy movie

I figure I wouldn't be a good Utah blogger who likes gay people if I didn't write about the controversy surrounding the film here in my great state. Quick catcher-upper: A local movie theatre owner pulled Brokeback from one of his theatres after he was told on the radio what it was about. (I apologize for the dangling participle, I wrote this quite quickly.)

I have yet to see it (I've been waiting to see it with my best mates, eh) but I have read the story.

So, here is my 2 cents on the matter. Cause y'all need my opinion!

First, a business owner can do whatever he/she wants. I'm fine with that. And there certainly are other movies that are more offensive and/or more gayer than Brokeback. I honestly don't care if he doesn't show it. It's not like it's going to make a huge dent in his pocketbook. I mean, I think the only person richer than him in the state is the governor. It didn't come as too big of a shock to me either. The owner was a huge contributor of the anti-gay marriage amendment here in 2004.

Second, no matter what your feelings for gay people are, you must realize one tiny fact. Brokeback is more than just a "gay" movie. It is a story as old as time--one about love, passion, and the heartache that comes with it.

This movie is not about furthering the "gay agenda" or a push by the liberals to force their values on the world.

It's a love story. Plain and simple.

That just happens to be about two men (which I find quite hot, btw) (blushes).

Finally, it seems to me that the people who are making such a huge deal out of the movie are the right-wing nutjobs who make a big deal out of these kinds of things all the time. To quote my favorite State Senator: "I don't think you're a homophobe. Homophobes are afraid of gay people. You are a bigot."

If you don't want to see, don't see it and don't complain about it. I don't try to push my belief system on you so don't push yours on me.

I don't know how to quit you.

I read the short story of Brokeback Mountain over Thanksgiving. (Needed something to distract myself from my mother's glares). It's really good and I'm very excited to see the movie.

Faggoty Ass Faggot has a good review of the movie here. Yes, I do hate him for seeing it early but alas, he IS the Faggoty Ass Faggot and I am not.