Falling like flys everywhere I go

See, I told you I'd write another one...

Anywho, a few weeks ago, I found out that two guys I know who I thought were gay are really straight. I found this out because I met their girlfriends. It sucked because they were gay and really good-looking and unavailable and now it sucks because they are straight, still good-looking, and still unavailable.

The other day, I found out that a guy I thought was straight is gay. I thought he was flirting with me when he came up and rubbed my shoulders and told me I smelled nice (Bath & Body Works Japanese Cherry Blossom Lotion). The way I found out he was gay: He said, "You know, I'd totally date her if I was straight." I am only hoping my jaw didn't drop as far down as I thought it did.

That would have been awkward.

For those of you who don't have amazing Gaydar like I do....

On Sunday, I hung out at the Coffee Garden with my friend Darci for three hours. One of the many musings we discussed was how to tell if a guy is gay based upon his hairstyle. It's quite easy as a matter of fact.

You see, straight guys, do not do their hair (unless they are metro). They may wash it in the morning and if they do, they may run a comb through it. And if they do either of these things, they totally deserve a Big Mac...or something.

Not a gay man. Oh no! They almost always have some kind of product in it. And if they do, there is usually some kind of spiky style (thanks, Ken, for being a perfect example on Sunday) or fauxhawk or it at least looks like they tried to style it.

This got me thinking about some other things we think about when we notice gay men. (And by "we" I mean "me"). For example, when you see two guys out to dinner, you automatically think, "Oh, they are friends." But when you see two women out to dinner you think, "Oh, lesbians."

Why is this?!

Anyone have any others to share?


(PS. Just because I posted this here does not mean I am going to regularly blog here again. I just had to say this and it doesn't really fit on any of my other blogs. Well, I may have another post tomorrow here so come back. But not often.)

Gaydar for the straight girl next door: A business opportunity

Scott and I have recently been contemplating starting our own business.

Picture it: A girl is walking hand-in-hand with her boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes and worshipping him and his A+F jeans while at the mall. He stops to check his hair in the window they just passed when a he turns to check out the guy who just walked by. "OOO, I so like his pants! Do you think Express for Men is still open?" He is obviously G-A-Y. And yet, she doesn't realize it. He tells her he loves shopping with her and how much fun she is and how awesome she is. She naively believes that he loves her. She went with him to see "Brokeback Mountain" because he said he was from Wyoming and he thought cowboys were cool.

Sadly, this scenario is becoming more and more prevalent as I go out into the world. I see countless gay men "dating" girls and the girl just doesn't know her boyfriend is gay.

This is where I come in. I would save this young and innocent lass from years of therapy and heartache. I wouldn't charge much for my service--just a small processing fee. But imagine what I've just saved her in therapy bills and anti-depressants!

Then, Scott would take over with a, "Oh gurl! What are you wearing today?! Oh no, you didn' wear gauchos with boots in public!" And would proceed to "queer" her up. (End scene). As I've said before, every girl needs at least one gay man in her life for fashion advice. Since I have my share of gay men in mine, I am willing to give my most fashionable to this cause. Think of Scott as a bridge builder, a people person, a go-getter. He's as good as Carson--just not as gay. Well, that's debatable.

Hey, it would totally work.

(We are currently accepting applications for our marketing team).