Six Degrees of Seperation or less

My friend Fernando called me yesterday to see if I knew anyone who wanted to go to Equality Utah's Allies Dinner tonight. It seems a few of his friends backed out and he desperately needed to fill the table as he is on EU's board. He was even offering a deal: 50% off the ticket price! The only person I could think of who would want to go was David.

Now, I don't know David at all but I do read his blog. A few weeks ago, he talked about how he entered EU's essay contest but did not win tickets to the dinner. I figured that if he still might want to go so I emailed him. Through our email exchange, I told him to just call Fernando if he wanted the tickets. Fernando called me later to tell me that David did call him and did buy the tickets AND that he is good friends with David's boyfriend (I believe it's Mark) and they would both be coming to the dinner. We laughed at what a small, small world this is.

Fernando listed the others who would be sitting at his table and said, "Josh."

"Josh, who?" I asked.

"Josh Moon and his current boy," he said.

"Oh how fun!" I replied. I didn't know Fernando knew Josh either.

This does not prove that all gay people know each other as is often believed. Obviously, I know every gay person.

I don't know whether that makes me really cool or really lame though.

Herding my gaggle

Planning is more than a degree
I'm a planner.

I like to make weekend plans on Thursday and have some idea about what I'm going to do for the whole weekend. I'm already planning my vacation in late November-early December. (I'm going on a cruise, preferably one with lots of gay men, so if you'd like to join me, let me know.)

Last Thursday, Scott and I made plans to hang out on Saturday night (since he had a 3rd date with Arlyn on Friday!). I said, "Let's invite Brian." We had previously joked that we would not see Brian for 10 weeks since Jesse was out of town. Scott said, "Well, let's also invite Adam. I said I'd hang out with him soon."

"Great," I said. "This will give me great blogging material."

And oh, it did.

The Drama known as Abish
I knew that I was silly for trying to make plans with gay men. By their very nature, gay men are very fickle (yes, you are) and prone to indecision (stop denying it). I have found that it's useless to make plans too far in advance or to plan something without first asking them all for suggestions.

"Why is this so?" you ask.

Three words: drama, drama, drama.

I texted Adam and Brian on Thursday to see what they were doing Saturday night. Both said, "Nothing. Why?" I invited them to hang out and their replies were both, "Who's all coming?" When I said that it would be us, (the five of us, including David) they said yes.

Because it matters who we hang out with?

Apparently.

You see, Friday night, Adam texted Scott and I to see what we were both doing. Since Scott had a date, he replied, "I'm on a date." This caused Adam to get pissy (I know, there's something new) because Scott had time to make new friends but not hang out with old ones. (Yet, he always makes time to hang out with me and Jesse. Hmmm. Well, just me and that's what's important.) Scott said, "Well, I'll see you tomorrow." To which Adam replied, "Maybe. We haven't decided yet."

Of course, since Scott and I talk constantly (this is me rolling my eyes), I knew about this conversation when I went and picked Adam up an hour later to go shopping with me. So, I mentioned it to Adam because he had told me two hours ago that he and David were planning on it and David was very excited. (Confused yet?) Of course, Adam was mad that Scott had told me what he said. Grr.

Finally, Saturday night came around. Scott mentioned that Arlyn may join us. And we knew fireworks would ensue.

Rosegate
You see, Adam and Brian have a history with Arlyn and do not like him.

In 2002ish, Adam, Brian and Arlyn were all good friends. Something happened between the three of them and Brian and Adam no longer like Arlyn. When Adam found out Arlyn was coming over, he said, "I will not be nice to him."

Scott put in his angry eyes, pointed at him, and told Adam in his teacher voice that he'd better be nice--or else! Brian had previously told Scott that he would be nice around Arlyn, but still would not like him.

Arlyn showed up with my friend Jessica, her cousin, and Robb Henry. (see Six Degrees of Separation below)

Things went ok, until Arlyn gave Scott a rose. Oh boy.

Adam was clearly jealous. But not because he likes Scott like that. You see, whenever Scott has started dating someone (and when Brian started dating Jesse), Adam gets extremely jealous that this person has "stolen" his friend from him. He's never gotten over Brian "leaving" him for Jesse (but, Jesse is the cuter and funner friend!) and always makes Scott feel guilty about his new relationships.

Scott has vowed, though, not anymore. He will not take Adam's crap anymore!

It was awkward to have Arlyn and my other friends standing around watching the rest of us play Scrabble so Scott left the game and went to talk to them. It was still an enjoyable evening and Brian and I tried to hurry the game along as best we could so we all could chat. However, Adam just would not secede. (I'm sorry, I just had to include a Civil War reference).

This just made Adam more mad.

Luckily, things went okay and around midnight, Arlyn, Scott and the others left. Adam, Brian, David and I were just finishing our Scrabble game when Adam said, "Well, that was just incredibly rude."

"Adam, get over it. You spent the whole evening with Scott and just accept what you're given. You can't do anything to change it so stop complaining," said Yoda Brian.

This shut him up.

Six Degrees of Separation
I met Arlyn around the same time as Brian and Adam did--but through student government--not the gay community. At the same time, I became good friends with Jessica and Matt. The three of us were inseparable and had such good times.

Since, then, I have become better friends with Arlyn through politics while Brian and Adam's friendship with him obviously became non-existent. Matt and Jessica and I were out of touch for a while but we've since made plans to repeat our infamous "Going to a basketball game while drunk" outing. (Sorry, Arlyn.)

Jesse was good friends with Robb Henry at one time (I think they may have dated, but I'm not sure) (and by "dated" I mean "slept together") HAHA! UPDATE: Jesse has informed me that he and Robb never dated or slept together. They are just friends.

Anyway, I have met Robb before, in fact, he's been to my house before. On Jesse's 21st birthday, we had a "surprise" party for him and Robb showed up. I don't think he remembered though. And, I don't think Brian cared for him either. Hmmm.

Jesse has also become friends with Arlyn and was his bitch in 2004. Scott met Arlyn through Jesse and I. (Yes, I know. I am so wonderful.)

The night was not a total drag, though. I found out one very important detail about someone's relationship. But that is a blog for another time.

Six Degrees of Seperation

I often joke that I know every gay man in the city. It really is just a joke. But oftentimes, I wonder. Usually, when Jesse or Brady and I go to a club, I know more guys there than they do. And, I have more gay men in my phone than straight guys--and my dad doesn't count.

Just to prove that I do in fact know every gay man in the city, let me provide a recent example.

Last year, Adam was "dating" this guy Keny. I had previously met Keny in 2002 while he was volunteering on Jim Matheson's re-election campaign and I was working at the State Party Headquarters. Anyway, after Keny and Adam broke up, Adam was telling me about this guy Keny had started dating. You see, Keny told Adam he didn't want to be in a relationship right now and wanted to focus on school, blah blah blah. Well, Adam found out that he had started dating this guy pretty soon after he and Keny broke up. That made him sad.

Today, my friend Robert sent me a link to a blog of a mutual friend of ours--Matthew. Actually, Robert and Matthew briefly "dated." I met Matthew a few years ago through a mutual friend of ours, Arlyn, who worked with Robert at one time. I was the first person Matthew came out to (that happens to me a lot) so we shared a special bond. The fact that the bastard hasn't called or hung out with me in months has nothing to do with why I'm upset with him at the moment, but that's another story.

As I was perusing Matthew's blog, I noticed him talking about his new boyfriend, Keny. I asked Robert who this Keny was and sure enough, it's the same Keny that broke up with Adam last year.

Therein lies the proof that I do, in fact, know every gay man in the city. It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.