My Hook-up

Believe it or not, I have personally witnessed the hooking up of way too many gay men. I can pick out the hook ups at Gayway and have even visited Fairmont Park once with Adam because I didn't believe him that hook ups actually occurred there. (Just trust me on this one, okay?)

So, I found it interesting a few weeks ago when I had my own quasi-hook up.

A blogger who's blog I read whenever he writes on it wrote that he had an extra ticket to Arcade Fire. Since I was excited to go but unsure of how/when/if I'd actually go, I hesitated to purchase a ticket. I thought I'd take a chance and emailed this guy to inquire about his extra ticket. He emailed me back and said I could have the ticket for free!

I was even more excited and didn't want to let the opportunity pass! I asked when I could pick it up thinking he'd offer to meet me outside the gates to the show or something.

Um, no.

Instead, he asked if I could meet him at the Murray Barnes and Noble since it was close to his work. Sure, I said, thinking I'd just go on my lunch break. Off I went thinking, "Wait a second! I don't even know what this guy looks like and I only know his first name!" A true hook-up.

As I walked into the B&N, I couldn't help but think how silly this was. I mean, how was I supposed to know who this guy was, go up and ask each guy there if he was Justin? Again, no.

As I tried to browse the selection of clearance books, I nervously glanced at every guy in the place, wondering if my "hook-up" was him. I was actually nervous too!

Suddenly, he showed up, gave me the ticket, told me how awesome the show was going to be, and then was off.

What a let down that turned out to be. Perhaps like most real hook-ups?

Alas, it was my first and will probably be the the last.

"We'd be good, we'd be great together"

My friend Carla and I were talking the other day about the serious lack of our social lives (i.e. dating men). She told me, "You know, you may actually find a guy to date if you didn't only hang out with gay men." (She then told me that "with eye-candy like Jesse, she can't really blame me for only having gay men as friends" to which I replied, "If you think Jesse is cute, you should see his boyfriend; he's HOT.")

I told her that finding a straight man to date really wasn't that simple.

First, I hardly think I'll ever be able to find a suitable partner in this state as I'm afraid it would prove to be most difficult to find one who is okay with my single momness. Then, I'd have to be sure they were cool with the gays since some straight guys might be uneasy with that or wonder why I like hanging out with them more. And let's not even start to talk about the fact that I am an educated, liberal, self-sufficient woman who does not want more children and wants to own a Jaguar (the car--not the animal) or two when I'm finished with law school.

Some people tell me that I need to "find a man" for the kid. But why subject her to settle for the influence of 1 straight man when she already has the influence of 3 gay ones!? I mean really. This should totally end the discussion right now.

Except, it's still going to be an endless topic of conversation.

Especially now since I've gathered up enough courage and asked a (straight) guy out.

I may or may not keep you posted as the situation develops. It's uncharted territory for me and every time I think about it, I laugh. Do you think I have enough material for a sitcom yet?

What makes a guy bi?

I was talking to Adam the other day about his roommates. One of his roommates is "straight." Yes, Adam puts it in quotes when he says it. He tells me that his roommates' brother is gay and he has no problem with gay men. Obviously, as he lives with 3 of them. He is also a hairdresser.

But he's not gay.

When we went out to the club a few weeks ago, his roommate was dirty dancing with plenty of gay men and even began heavily flirting with some of them.

But he's not gay.

Adam was explaining to me his roommate's sexuality. You see, he's physically attracted to women AND men yet he's only mentally and emotionally attracted to woman. Sure, he'd consider having sexual relations with a man but isn't attracted to them on all levels so could never form a deep, meaningful relationship with a man.

So what makes a guy truly bi and what makes him gay? Is it the sex? Not according to this article. Okay, so maybe these straight men are afraid to come out or something like that? I don't buy this argument because in today's world, being gay is pretty much accepted anywhere you go (shock and awe! I know!).

If the cause of a guy's bi- or hetero- sexuality is the emotional or mental attraction, then a guy can truly be bisexual, right? If we say that having sex with men AND having the emotional attraction is what makes men gay, then this analysis is right.

Right? Or am I missing something?

I found a place to find straight guys

One would think that hanging out with so many men, I'd know or at least meet, multitudes of straight men.

Oh how I wish.

Not only do I not know any straight men but the gays in my life have steadily not introduced me to any.

I've come to realize that I must take matters into my own hands.

I love music. I love going to concerts, especially when they're free.

A friend of mine invited me to see Bonnie Raitt and Keb Mo last week. I LOVE Keb Mo. He is so very hot. And as I sat there freezing (it was outside and it had rained) I looked around and saw an enormous amount of straight guys! Now, a vast majority of them were married of course but I did manage to scout out the very available and very attractive men at the concert.

This got me thinking. I simply need to go to more concerts. Not just any concerts, but concerts where straight, single men will also be. The other most recent concerts I have been to were Death Cab For Cutie, Keane--not a lot of straight guys are going to be seen there.

But if I go to concerts like Phish or-or someone else...I may just find some guys who don't play for the other team.

Oh wait. I just thought of something; I need to watch out for concerts where the lesbians hang out.

The art & science of club dancing

Thursday night, I went out dancing with Jesse, Brian and Brian's friend, Evan. Note: We did NOT go to a gay club even! It was '80s night at a local place and Brian has said the only way he'd go dancing was if it was on '80s night. So, dancing we a-went.

I always have the most fun at the club when I'm watching (i.e. making fun of) other people. Jesse and I will play a game where we pick a person and dance like them. Now, we don't pick the good dancers so it proves to be quite entertaining.

Drunk guys are the most fun to watch--gay or straight. The gay ones just starting making out with the guy they're dancing with while the straight ones make complete fools of themselves. One guy was on the platform singing along with all the songs. He was really into it and Jesse acted like he was at a concert and this guy was the hot lead singer. He (the guy) was bizarre; he would point to the crowd and grab himself. My favorite part was when he almost fell off the stage.

One thing I think is interesting about club dancing is how groups of friends dance. Groups of girls dance in packs as to tell hunting guys, "Stay away! We only came here to dance! We do not want you to hit on us. Fuck guys! I just want to dance!" Yet when a group of guys starts dancing with the group of girls, the girls don't push them off or claim to be lesbians.

Whenever we go dancing, it's usually just Jesse and I dancing so it was interesting to see how our dancing group developed. We danced in a tight circle--just like a pack of girls.

I only have one complaint about club dancing. And that is, when the dance floor gets crowded, it is not necessary to elbow, push and jab the people around you. It's crowded. There is no where else I can go so no matter how hard you push me, I still can't move. Don't be a dick.

That is all.

It doesn't matter if they're gay or straight, men still can't plan worth a damn.

Last Saturday, Melissa, her friend Jana, and I had plans to meet up with her other friend Levi (and his friends) and have a fun party/bonfire in the mountains.

We should have known that straight men could not adequately plan an event.

I met up with Melissa and Jana around six only to find out that Levi had not called to tell us what was going on (you know, simple details like, where we needed to meet them and such). We hung out at Jana's for about half an hour when he called telling us we needed to drive to the mouth of the canyon where he'd pick us up. Oh, and we should be there between 8 & 8:30 because he needed to go home and shower.

What?! We thought. That was NOT in the original plans.

So we basically had 2 hours to kill (as it would have taken us 1 hour to get to the mouth of the canyon).

We knew we'd need supplies for the night if it was already turning out poorly. So, we stopped at the 7-11.
While Melissa and I purchased some choice alcoholic beverages, Jana bought condoms in the hopes of "getting lucky."

We were then on our way. 10 minutes into our road trip, Levi called. The party in the mountains was cancelled as it was raining. But, we were going over to his friends house to hang out and that would be fun, he assured us.

Yeah, it wasn't.

Road trips rock!

We hung out at this guy's house for a few hours, drank some and got bored. While Levi read a magazine, his friend read the newspaper. So much for a fun time. Eventually, we just left because we were so bored we couldn't take it anymore.

Lesson learned: Don't leave event planning to the boys. They'll just screw it up. And, it doesn't matter if they're gay or straight; they all suck at it (as you will read in my next post).

Well, here's a first

The other night, something happened that's never happened before.

One of my straight, married guy friends asked me for relationship advice.

(I know what you're saying, "You have straight male friends?!") (Yes, I do. But only like 3.)

As I was saying, he started the conversation by asking if I'd ever been married. I don't like loathe this question.

So I told him no and waited for the next part.

He told me that he and his wife are having marital problems. Every few weeks, she just leaves for days without telling him. She blames him, the fact that she never dated anyone besides him before getting married, and that she "needs to find herself."

It was such a touching conversation because I knew we had a good friendship but I didn't know it was that good. I was flattered and touched that he would share this with me. He said he felt silly but I said not to worry because I'm the one who always gets called (which I don't mind) by my boys when they are having guy troubles.

He explained that his wife was having an emotional affair with a professor of hers and he just doesn't know what else to do. After seeing two of my good friends deal with this same problem last year, I knew what he was going through. She doesn't think it's a big deal. Emotional affairs, I believe, are just as bad, if not worse than physical ones.

I told him that communication is the key to any successful relationship--whether it is romantic or friendship. He agreed but still just wasn't sure what to do.

The last thing he said to me was, "How do you talk to a person who says they haven't loved you for years?"

And it broke my heart.

Relationships, are scary things which is probably the reason I avoid them.

The XtraLarge Super Bowl: Hanging out with straight guys part 3

About a month ago, I texted Brian and told him he should have a Super Bowl Party. My theory was simple: He owns a HAMF TV (Huge ass motherfucking television), he's always wanted to have a Super Bowl party, and the person who has prevented him from having a party in the past would be out of the country (*cough jesse cough*). I figured it was a prime opportunity to do it.

I even said that I would make some food (shock & awe, I know!) for the big event.

SIDENOTE: I really had an ulterior motive for wanting Brian to do this--just so you know. But, he didn't come so it really didn't matter.

At the party, it was about 1/2 mix of straight and gay guys; Brian's friends from work (the straight ones) and his other friends (the gay ones).

Instead of watching the game, though (it WAS boring), we just fast-forwarded and watched the commercials. Since Brian works for Sprint, he thought they had the best commercials. (This is me rolling my eyes).

It was interesting to hear straight guys talking about football to gay guys who really could care less (although, Scott did hold his own) (he really just likes the cute outfits).

Oh, and Jesse, Brian made his really good chicken and I made some spicy nachos! ;)

Hanging out with straight boys, part 2

Friday night, Scott invited me to hang out with two of his friends from school, Zac and Daniel. It was a blast to hang out with straight guys--we drank, played cards, and laughed a lot. I really need to do it more often.

First, I just need to find some...

Gay men are just like straight men

One would think that being gay would make men more in touch with their feminine side thus helping them better understand a woman's psyche.

Um, no.

No, it doesn't.